KRG Coaching

June 20, 2015

I’m a big fan of Webster’s, but sometimes you just gotta be creative!

Do you ever invent words to describe something? I do, on a pretty regular basis. And while I am a strong believer in using the dictionary to be sure I am spelling (or using) a word correctly, I routinely make up words that uniquely describe a particular situation, person or thing because there just isn't anything that "does it justice". I believe words should produce vivid imagery in someone's mind and sometimes Webster's just doesn't have it. That being said,

• Don't you think "wowier" and "wowiest" have lots of merit to describe something that's a whole lot better than average ?
• Doesn't "ITish" cover somebody who is very computer savvy?
• I just love how I feel after being "manicurized" and "pedicurized". Oh, yeah!
• When you go to Disneyland or someplace really special, don't you feel "magicatized"?
• On a similar note, we've all experienced tragedy. But how about all the wonderful "magedies" in life?
• And sometimes isn't life just kind of "tragical"?
• If something is chock-full of information, isn't it "detaily"?
• Is there a "behabit" (behavior + habit) that one of your co-workers or friends has that drives you crazy?
• Having worked in corporate America in the escrow and title industry for many years, we often hired mobile notaries. Wouldn't "motaries" pretty much cover it?
• We all know what yucky means, so how about the opposite: "unyucky"?
• Hopefully you are treated fairly, but aren't there times when you are "misfairlied"?
• If something is very breakable and needs to be treated with extra special care, it's "fragily", right?
• Isn't it easier to call someone who draws blood a "prickster" than a phlebotomist?
• When you are experiences one of those times when you have really low energy and are just feeling wiped out, aren't you "draggy"?
• Don't we all want a life that is "zeniful"?
• You may have been compromised at one time or another, but have you ever been "optimized"? That's my specialty. Reach out to me and we'll talk about this one.

Bottom line, it is fun and functional to make up words to describe certain events, people, and experiences. Use your imagination to expand your vocabulary and create words that bring vivid images or feelings to life. It would be the “wowiest” if you would share your favorite creative word(s) in the comments.

Cheers!

Kathy Relles-Glickman is a People Optimizer. She helps people envision, enhance, and embrace life's possibilities as a career and life coach. She can be reached at kathy@krgpeopleoptimizer.com.

June 5, 2015

Please Don't Go to Paris for a Good Cup of American Coffee

I got back recently from a Girls' Week in Cabo San Lucas. Lucky me! Whenever I get the opportunity to travel, I grab for it with gusto. I love the planning, the anticipation, the actual journey, the exploration of the destination, and then replaying the memories I made on the trip. International travel holds a special place in my heart. I love learning more about the country, the customs, the culture, the people, the language, the food, and the unforgettable sights and experiences.

My girlfriend recently shared an experience she had awhile ago when she and her husband were traveling with friends through Europe. The entire three days they were visiting Paris one friend complained. He lamented several times each day that all he wanted was "a good cup of American coffee".

I love a good cup of steaming, fresh-brewed Java as much as the next person. But my friend's traveling companion was missing the the most essential piece of traveling internationally. Namely, you don't go to Paris for a good cup of American coffee.

The discovery, the differences, the sheer joy of trying unfamiliar foods, meeting new people, learning about a country's history, being surrounded by the sounds of a language that is foreign, finding commonality with the locals, seeing wondrous sights so different from the norm - These are the things that make traveling to another country such a memorable adventure.

I love the United States and am grateful every single day for being born and raised as an American. Is living here perfect? Of course not, but I wouldn't trade my citizenship for anything in the world. Yet traveling internationally is such a treat, such a learning opportunity to broaden one's horizons and perspectives, and to gain a better understanding that the American way of life is not the only way.

If you treasure traveling to other parts of the world, you have to open your mind, your tastebuds, and your heart to new experiences, people, food, places, languages, ways of doing things, and ultimately, opportunities to enrich your life.

Are there risks to traveling to foreign countries? Yes. Traveling abroad stretches you in so many ways and there can be some real challenges. To name just a few (of a million possibilities):

· Your flight is delayed and you miss your connection and a day of your itinerary. No doubt about it. That bites big time.
· You thought you were ordering a white fish and it turns out you ordered - You're not sure what it is. Keep your sense of humor. It's not a big deal.
· You get lost and can't find anyone who speaks English to help you. You feel out of control.

I've heard friends and acquaintances report their misadventures. And I've had my share of them. These kinds of things will happen. But with the right mindset, these types of experiences will be a memory you will laugh about and possibly come to treasure. It's all part of the adventure.

If you do some homework before your trip, it will whet your appetite for the journey and make the anticipation even more exciting. Doing some reading about the history, people, customs, food, and transportation systems, as well as the sights you plan to visit will give you a better insights. If you take the time to learn just a dozen phrases that will be useful and mannerly - i.e.
· "Where's the bathroom, please?"
· "Good morning" (afternoon, evening)
· "Check, please?"
· "Thank you"
· "Where is the subway station?"

You'll be 'way ahead of the game.

Memorizing a few questions and statements like these will enable you to communicate better, save yourself time and frustration, and you'll be showing respect to the locals since you are trying to speak to them in their language versus expecting them to be able to speak English.

Allow for delays and don't expect everyone to be in a hurry - like we are used to here in the states. In Mexico they have a saying many of the locals in tourist destinations use to explain waiting time to Americans - "a Mexican minute". This loosely translates to: It could take 5 minutes or 15 or 30. My overall experience with the Mexican people is they are friendly, helpful, hardworking, and like to laugh. However, their sense of urgency is much different than ours. They would rush to get someone in a medical emergency to a hospital, but getting you your bill after dinner? Not so much. If you understand these types of cultural differences, you will have more realistic expectations of what you'll encounter and you'll be able to more thoroughly "enjoy the ride".

So if you're going to venture out of your normal routine and, particularly if you will be traveling internationally, be open to stretching yourself and your experiences. Breathe and go with it. Live large! As Maya Angelou once stated: "Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take but by the places and moments that take our breath away." Amen to that, sister!

April 15, 2015

The world we live in continues to spin at unprecedented speed. Whether it’s technology, media, the economy, political unrest, relationships, aging parents, unemployment, company mergers, a new boss, grown children moving back in with parents (and toting grandchildren with them) or a list of other life events, change is with us and keeps coming at a “faster than the speed of light” pace. Interestingly enough, we have a tendency to think the twenty-first century cornered the market on the change phenomenon. Yet the saying, “Change is the only constant in life” originated with Heraclitus, a Greek philosopher who lived over 2000 years ago! So I guess it doesn’t matter which century you live in. Change is going to keep coming at us – “large and in charge”.

When you really stop to think about it, change is being discussed everywhere. Friends, family, colleagues, even people you meet casually are always talking about changes happening in the world and specifically in their own lives and how they are affected. Some individuals are wired to embrace new challenges, opportunities, people, and circumstances. They thrive at the prospect of new, different or unknown and are always on the lookout for ways to shake up their own universe. On the other side of the spectrum, many people experience real difficulty dealing with and accepting change. They can feel stressed out, overwhelmed, paralyzed with fear, out of control or even “victimized” at the prospect of change.

Which type of personality do you identify with when it comes to dealing with change?
· One that is open to new possibilities, challenges, people, and situations and is typically willing to give change “the old college try”? The kind of person that says, “Bring it on!” Or,
· Someone who stresses out at the unknown and is typically kicking and screaming and asking “Why is this happening to me”? The type of person who is fearful of the unknown and who believes, “If it’s not broken, don’t fix it”. (Or perhaps, “Even if it is broken, I’m used to it, so don’t fix it”).

My experience is that clients seek coaching for one of three reasons and all of them revolve around change:
1. They are struggling to deal with a change that was not in their control
2. They are stuck in a situation or career path and feel unsure or ill-equipped on how to move forward
3. They want to achieve a big goal or fulfill a dream and need an accountability partner (who is not their friend, family member or peer), to help them come up with a plan and work through the process

A friend of mine celebrated a big birthday last year. She made a pledge with herself that she would stretch and try something new every month for the year prior to that milestone. Rebecca successfully achieved her goal and accomplished some pretty amazing things during that twelve-month period including:
· Playing tambourine with a band in front of a live audience
· Flying as a passenger in an open air, two-seater airplane
· Getting up on a “flying trapeze” and learning some maneuvers
to name a few. HOLY GUACAMOLE! Talk about stretching yourself! I was inspired by Rebecca’s intentionality to push herself out of her comfort zone on a regular basis. And that’s what change does, right? It pushes us, stretches us to take risks, makes us figure out how to adapt and problem-solve. In a nutshell, change grows us. I recently decided I had reached a stage in my life where I, too, wanted to “grab for more gusto” and initiate some changes – on my terms. I decided to follow Rebecca’s footsteps and try something I’ve never done before every month.

My first month’s stretching out of my comfort zone attempt was to try a spin (bicycle) class. Now, I am someone who typically exercises every day. Whether it’s yoga, Pilates, walking, using an elliptical, bike riding, hiking or the like, I work out to keep my body healthy (although I can never figure out why I can’t shed those elusive 15 pounds) and to keep my emotional and stress levels “in check”. I’d been curious about spinning cycle classes for quite a while, but always thought, they’re really not for me. The truth of the matter is, I was intimidated. I knew the classes would “kick my ass” and I didn’t want to be unsuccessful. I finally gave a spin class a shot a couple weeks ago. These were my reactions during one of the longest hours of my life:
· Who do I think I am – Jillian Michaels? I will never be able to last the full 60 minutes!
· Why did I think this was a good idea?
· Even if I last only part of the class, I will eventually work up to the full hour (Pace yourself, KRG).
· Can I make it to 30 minutes? What was I thinking?
· Everyone around me is doing it, I’m in decent physical shape, what am I – a wimp?
· This is SO HARD!!!!
· I wonder how many people have heart attacks or strokes during these classes?!?
· Why - exactly - did I take this on as my first “stretch yourself” activity?
· Why didn’t I just step out of my comfort zone more slowly by trying a new flavor of frozen yogurt instead of subjecting myself to this?
· If I can last 40 of the 60 minutes, what an accomplishment that will be!
· Ok, made it to 42 minutes, I think I can do this!
· 51 minutes and counting – I am nailing this!!! HOORAY!!!!!
· 60 minutes – I DID IT! (Music from “Rocky” is playing in my head!)
· If I can finish this entire class on my first attempt, I can do anything!!!! YES! YES! YES, I CAN!!!!

Was I happy that I had attempted and successfully completed the full class on my initial try? Absolutely. It was a sense of real accomplishment. A week later I participated in my second spinning class. Here’s what I was thinking during that hour:
· This is so much better than the first class.
· Ok, 10 minutes in and I’m feeling a lot more comfortable and confident this time around.
· This is HARD, but I know I can do this!
· This instructor is playing some different music than the one from last week. I’m “getting into the zone”!
· The class is already half over and I am feeling pretty good. I am in the groove!
· I have got this covered!
· 47 minutes – It’s going to be “cool down” time soon. YEAH!
· 58 minutes – I am now a spin class fan and will start attending a few times/week
· Maybe I should get certified as a spin class instructor…That would help me shed those lbs. (Okay, cowgirl, slow it down. Let’s not go off the deep end!)

The point is, I had such a different attitude going into the spin class the second time. My intimidation, fear of failure, and uncertainty about what to expect had been put to rest in the first class. I was visualizing myself becoming a regular spin class rider during the second class. It only took one time to get rid of all the things (in my head) that had held me back in the past from attempting a spin class. And for me, overcoming that anxiety and fear of the unknown was even better than the sense of “I did it!”

Which leads me to the conclusion that since change is inevitable, it makes sense to try harder to be the type of person who welcomes rather than resists it. When you really think about it, it’s the changes in your life – and how you respond to them - that define you as a person.

Without change, people grow stagnant and more rigid in their thinking. I want to be even more adventurous and available to new ideas and experiences as I get older. By taking small intentional, stretching steps, I am practicing being more open and adaptable to change. So I will definitely continue my journey of exploring one new thing every month.

If you feel you could use a little help in the “being more open to change” department, I encourage you to follow Rebecca’s example and make a goal to stretch yourself and try one new thing monthly. Can you imagine how incorporating this small action could enhance your life to new possibilities, new people, and new experiences? But even more than that, by intentionally having a goal to stretch yourself each month, you will help break through barriers to accept and embrace change more readily. Cheers!

Kathy Relles-Glickman is a People Optimizer. She helps people envision, enhance, and embrace life's possibilities as a career and life coach. She can be reached at kathy@krgpeopleoptimizer.com.